Walnuts and other things

I am eating walnuts. They look like brains, so the health Nazis say, because they are good for your brain. I think I should give my brain all the help it can get.
Speaking of brains I am feeling a tad bit odd today. Half of me is manic and the other half is totally depressed. I feel like bouncing off the walls, but beating my head in them while I’m there.
I need to start working on my book cover for my new book, which is now more than half done. Can we do a little dance and yell yay?? They’re all free that I write, but let’s face it, I write them for me. They are not work, they are parts of my heart and soul and dreams. I want to share them with people I will never know. Maybe they will find in one something that touches their hearts or gives them something to dream about.
My latest dream involves an island (most probably) governed by goat herders who don’t give a damn, with frequent rain and snow and moderate (by that I mean 30’s to 60’s Fahrenheit). Damn I spelled that right. Give me a cookie! If I were capable or had a fellow-adventurer along, I would build a cob tiny house with a fireplace I could read in front of or fall asleep watching while I listened to the wind blowing around outside. I find I truly need little. Some books to read, some quiet, I admit food to eat. I don’t care about a house anymore. As long as there’s a roof and some walls. Maybe I’m letting go of things I know I won’t be taking with me. Someday the journey will just be me, alone, hopefully with God, as empty handed as I was when I came into this world. People spend so much time trying to get so much that means nothing in the end. Well, enough of this.
Listening to videos of the ocean waves. I wish I could see them someday. Run through the sand. Yeah, okay maybe wobble through the sand, lol.
What I truly need I think is a partner in crime. Someone who wants to do strange things, go weird places and doesn’t mind the fact I can’t walk much. They want to spend time because they really think I’m interesting and funny and they can rise above my undercurrent of sadness and guilt. Can see through my pessimism enough to realize I’m really an optimist and I keep thinking things will go right in spite of the fact they never seem to. Who isn’t always disappointed or out of patience with me. Maybe someone who can make me feel alive and I can give them back the same. It doesn’t look probable. I will fade and go into the west, lol.
Well, I know there was something I needed to do, but no idea what, so I have finished my walnuts and my brain is no better, lol.

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About moonvapors

I love music. My favorite band is Sunrise Avenue, but I really like all kinds of music from Vampire Metal to classical. I live in the midwest of the US with my one eyed cat, Blinky and my Chihuahua Mr Mosie . I love the rain and snow, flowers, wind in the trees, the rustle of corn in the summer and the crunch of leaves underfoot in the fall. I write poetry and dream of a better world, a new world order where people mattered instead of money. I think my biggest regret is not traveling the world when I was young. Oh well, maybe in my next life, huh?
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One Response to Walnuts and other things

  1. Hi! I just wanted to thank you for commenting on a post I wrote in my blog at shesanauthor.wordpress.com this year and for making my blog a little more visible this year. Wishing you and your loved ones a very Happy New Year!

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